I’ve decided to make “FIGHT RELENTLESLEY” a series dedicated to my battle with PCOS which includes my weight-loss journey and my overall desire for wellness in all aspects of my life.
I caught-up with an old friend, Mila from hangrywoman.com for a walk over at Hermann Park today, and it was the best possible way I could have spent this afternoon. Like a lot of challenges, so much of achieving wellness—or anything, really—is 90% mental. The biggest and toughest thing to do is just start. Just freaking start. Start doing what it is you want to actually do. Like, now. Do it already. Ok, so you’ve started? Now keep going. My little cardio confab with Mila helped edify some small truths that I know deep down, but needed a little help remembering.
1. No one can do this alone, and no one ever really is.
If people don’t know about something, they can’t care about it. It doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. You just need to reach out.
2. You need to reach out.
As a private person, this has always been tough for me. Maybe it’s my upbringing, but my whole life, I’ve stressed myself out not wanting to be a burden to anyone, and that’s part of the mentality that keeps us from opening up to opportunities.
3. You have to be honest.
Not implying that you planned on lying. Sometimes we omit the truth, when we “share”, though. Like, when you say “Everything’s great!” when people really ask you how you you’re really doing; they’re likely hoping that we give them a real answer.
Now, when I said, “you” or “us” I should really be referring to myself and say “I”. I say these things more as a memo to myself. I’m not a licensed therapist, or a certified anything when it comes these things, really. I can only speak to my own personal experiences and hope what I share is helpful to those who are enduring and facing these same issues. Ultimately, this blog has been helpful in holding myself accountable for processing my feelings instead of burying them; which, I believe, helps uproot some of the hold hormone imbalance can have on me. At least now, I feel like I’m better equipped to connect the dots and create an action plan when I’m feeling… “off”.
But I’ve digressed. Mila and I came circling to one topic of contention that continues to stare us in the face—what is stopping us from doing what we really want to do and being truly happy? It’s a trite and over-asked question, yes. But quintessential nevertheless. Happiness can sometimes feel like a moving target, but it’s a choice. When I quit my “big-girl” job at the end of 2015 (another blog for another day), I thought it was enough to fix everything. I’m SO over processes. lol
When I didn’t know I had PCOS and it was untreated, depression was a formidable foe I repeatedly failed to overcome on my own. I spent most of 2016 making SO MANY plans (launching this blog, included), but rarely executed any of them, and even more rarely followed-through. Now, things are different. I feel more balanced. More stable. Happier. And that’s why I was throwing up my hands in the air when I was talking to Mila—“WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?” “WHY DO I NOT HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS BY NOW?!”
Look, I don’t have any answers. But sharing this dilemma of the human condition with someone that very much understood where I was coming from is an integral part of getting there. Start. Keep going.